On life, post-Elimination…

So. It’s about time I wrote about what happened.

I spent 4 weeks semi-religiously following The Rules, writing down what I ate and waiting for the magic moment when I felt full of energy and free from problems. I also spent an inordinate amount of time upsetting people with my presence. I’m not sure what part of me not eating bread or cheese or sugar was most upsetting, I just remember permanently trying to ward off the comments (and occasionally the commenters). (You can’t just eat apples, grapes and bananas for lunch, look, I’ll make you a sandwich, you’re wasting away, didn’t you bring any real food? Do you want to share mine?, please eat more, here – have some bread with that, DB, don’t you think she should stop being so awkward and just eat everything again?).

The next 3-4 weeks consisted of trying things out, and trying to notice the difference.

Most notably: nothing.

The bloating was stiĺl there, albeit certainly reduced. The stomach cramps were less intensive and occasionally nonexistent. I mostly had more energy, but still not so much that it overflowed. I got cold a lot more quickly than usual, occasionally so much that I wrapped myself up in blankets while the rest sat in T-shirts.

Overall I suppose I felt better at the end of the trial weeks than at the beginning, but I was looking for symptoms and still finding them.


I ate a lot of good lamb steaks, and bucket loads of rice and veggies. I doubt I ate as many bananas in the previous year as I did in those 2months. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t detrimental, although I suspect I could’ve made it more exciting.


Over the 2 months I lost 6 or 7kg.

The pile waiting for the clothes bank grew, while I shrank.

I didn’t go clothes shopping, because I hate that, and besides, new clothes every couple of weeks is a game I didn’t want to play. Instead, I dug old favourites out of the cupboards and wore them a week or 10 days before they were baggy. Another few days and I needed a belt. Then I’d retrieve the next old favourite.

The post that floated round my head most, without making its way to screen-paper, would’ve been called “shrinking out of my clothes”…


Then barbecue season began properly. We’d barbecued by ourselves until then, but being the one people have to cater for specially doesn’t appeal unless it’s really really necessary, so I stopped eliminating and began including. I figured I’d be better off not stressing about food, which meant I ate everything I wanted to eat and didn’t bother about writing it down (who takes notes at a party?!!) or watching for symptoms.

I gained 3 1/2 Kilos in the following month.

That was the first time I’d ever subjected my body to the yoyo effect.


I am slowly working towards getting rid of them again. Besides being fatter, I’m also unfitter. The changes are so incremental that I can’t say what triggers them, I just know that I am back to feeling tired all the time and my stomach’s back to cramps and queasiness. I’m coughing more often and apparently my breath smells bad in the morning (thanks DB).

I am contemplating going back and doing it again, maybe for longer before adding foods back this time round. The barbecue season is pretty much over, and the Christmas partys still belong a good way off in the future. On the other hand, next week is a big meet-up of most of DB’s friends at our house, and a wedding at the weekend, the week after that, my brother is here. Then I’m in England, followed by a glassblowing meeting, which brings us to the second week of October already….

Maybe I’ll try the better-than-nothing approach and stick to it when nothing else is going on… 🙂 I probably won’t leave out as many foods this time round either, maybe just sugar, bread and milk products.

DB suggested he eliminates with me, so we don’t have to cook twice, but secretly because he thinks he needs to lose a kilo or three…

On doing things I’m good at…

Today I excelled at the things I do well 🙂

I went to bed in the early hours of the morning, far later than I originally wanted to, after distracting myself with other peoples’ blogs and cooking a galoptious potfull of almost inedible brown gloop.

I slept until almost midday, whereupon I proceded to lounge about in bed until about half past midday alternately reading email on my phone, updating my phone book (my old phone is back from the dead :)) and sleeping.

A friend phoned me. I phoned her back (I don’t pay to phone people*) and we talked. And talked. And talked. For 4 and a half hours 🙂 And that didn’t officially break my record 😉 Was good though. And as well as enjoyable, parts of it were even productive – she’s back at school so I asked her lots of questions about what she knows (= lots). A couple of years ago I did the same course, so I have the course book (and a big head ;))

Once we decided we’d talked long enough we hung up and texted each other instead 🙂

At some point after that I fell asleep. Again.

When I woke up and noticed that it was dark outside I remembered all the plans I’d had for the day. One of my more urgent plans had been to go shopping and buy more looroll. Sometimes (read “extremely often”) it gets to Saturday evening and I decide I have enough food to get me through until Monday and don’t bother going out. Sometimes, like today, this isn’t really a viable option. I looked at bustimetables and figured I needed to leave in 10 minutes – which left me no time to shower, and I really needed to shower – or 40 minutes – which gave me plenty of time to do nothing for a while before I went through the whole, get undressed-wet-dry-dressed rigmarole. I obviously did nothing long enough to miss both busses, and a couple of others.

I hadn’t eaten all day, what with hardly leaving the bedroom and all, so I was starving by the time I was washed, dressed and ready to go out. I cooked a load of spaghetti and warmed up some of the brown gloop. Being left overnight often does wonders for food. Unfortunately this wasn’t the case, and all the posh-mushroom flavour I’d carefully disguised yesterday had come back in full force. I did some more disguise work and managed to eat about 3 forkfulls before realising I had 4 minutes to be at the busstop in time to catch the last bus to the shop-I-don’t-mind-going-to-if-I’m-late-remembering-I-need-to-buy-things.. I left the house in a bit of a hurry, remembering just in time to take my purse out of my work bag and put it in my coat pocket.

This is a post about things I’m good at. It would obviously not be complete if it didn’t include getting to within 200 yards of a busstop in time to see the bus pull away. I could have made it (I think) if I’d run (like I usually do). The thing was, it had snowed, and the ground was that kind of slippery where you’re not sure which bits are safe and which bits are going to make you fall over. I don’t particularly like running at the best of times, and any running which results in me falling over is my least favourite kind of running. I walked sedately up the hill, watched the bus drive sedately up the hill past me and off into the distance then walked sedately past the busstop and into town, quietly cursing the fact that this meant I’d have to go to my least favourite supermarket. It’s the biggest, most confusingest, longest-opening supermarket in my town and while it’s not actually as bad as some of its brothers and sisters (which take up 2 floors) I think it’s pretty grim, in a I’m-still-thankfull-it’s-open-and-willing-to-sell-me-looroll-at-10pm-on-a-Saturday kind of way.

One of the things I most dislike about the shop is its maze-like qualities, and its inability to arrange things in the same way as other supermarkets. I am generally in favour of difference, but I appreciate things being logical, and putting milk in a completely different section from things like yogurt and cheese just baffles me. However. I’m slowly getting the hang of their reasoning and made it to the looroll department without too many problems. As I got there I stepped onto a piece of thick packaging paper which someone had kindly left on the floor, skidded, just about managed to get off the paper and back on to the floor without damaging myself or knocking anything off the shelves and came to a halt 3 cm away from some bloke who looked bemused and carried on with his last minute shopping.

A minute or so later, as I was faced with the near impossible task of choosing between 57 varieties of Vitamin B12, the bemused bloke approached me (of all people) to ask if I knew where the sugar might be hidden. Not having much of an idea, but not liking to be unhelpful, I pointed him in the direction of the baking things. I hope I was right. In that shop it’s liable to be kept next to the biscuits (because people put it in tea I suppose) or the fruit and veg (think strawberries and cream), or the shower gel/olive oil (sugar scrub). Or somewhere even less logical. Like I said, I hope I was right. He might have been there all night otherwise. Is it mean to be glad other people have the same problem finding things as me?

I nosed through most of an article about sexism-at-work and only thought about paying and going home when the speakers stopped playing elevator supermarket music to annouce that they were about to shut and would I please like to make my way to the checkout. I put the magazine back on its shelf, found my way to the checkout desk, paid and, surprisingly, caught the bus home without having to wait 27 minutes first.

People warn me not to go shopping hungry. I was, but I was also tired/not-particularly-awake so I didn’t buy loads of random stuff. I only barely remembered what I was there for. In the end I bought looroll, 3 boxes of milk, 2 boxes of cocoa, more B12 tablets and a small tube of water-and-heat-resistant glue apparently suitable for sticking glass together. The checkout lady must wonder about the lives people lead.

Once I was home I ignored 3 years of cooking lessons and re-reheated the spaghetti mixture which I ate in front of the computer and a lot more blog posts with the odd Youtube video/picture-of-a-cat thrown in for good measure.

I didn’t declutter anything. I didn’t start the new project I promised myself I was going to start in February. I didn’t wash the floor in the kitchen or take the organic-waste outside to the bin. I didn’t do any washing.. And I didn’t finish my calendar page.

I am about to go to bed. It’s much later than I’d planned. Tomorrow I will wish I’d gone to bed earlier. That, too, is something I’m good at.

*okay, so obviously I do pay the phone company, it just doesn’t bother them if I phone anyone or not..