On wearing nice socks

I wear odd socks. Odd, as in not matching, rather than intrinsically odd.

Sometimes they’re brightly coloured, sometimes dark, sometimes stripy, sometimes spotty, sometimes plain, sometimes patterned, sometimes with pictures. Sometimes they’re thick, sometimes thin, sometimes long sometimes short, sometimes in-between. Sometimes they’re boring socks, sometimes they’re just socks, not in need of a description.

Sometimes someone mentions them, mostly they don’t. If they do, they mostly only notice that they don’t match.

I notice other people’s socks occasionally, mostly if they aren’t wearing shoes. Sometimes I comment on them.

“Hey! [Those are] cool socks!” Smile. End of conversation.

What I have never done, is ask if I can wear them.

No one’s ever asked if they could wear mine either. If they had, I would have thought they were very very strange.

I have to admit that I’ve also never offered..

If someone told me I have nice socks, I would say thanks and probably move on to something more exciting. If I thought they were really interested I might say something like: “Yeah, I thought they were pretty cool too, I found them in a market in….blahblahblah..”

“Those are nice socks!”
“Thanks! Want to try them on?”

is not a conversation I’ve ever thought about having. Not in a million years.


Yesterday, while waiting at the airport, I flicked through a magazine.

Apparently, according to the magazine, 

“Hey! You’re wearing nice socks, can I try them on?”

made it onto the list of top 3 chat up lines for the next season.


Apparently that’s a thing.

I don’t claim to be an expert on chat up lines, I didn’t even know there was a list, but even assuming one exists, asking to wear someone else’s socks would never have occurred to me as a candidate, never mind one of the winners.

I have no idea how they choose what lands on it. Have they been compiled, thought up, tested? Do people write in with what worked for them?? Are there contests?

Several hours later I still can’t imagine a situation where that would be a good thing to say.

It’s entirely possible I’m missing the innuendo or a reference to something else because I miss a lot of references.

But I’m curious:

Is it me, or is the whole idea really really weird?

Do people really want to wear other people’s socks? Especially when the other person’s been wearing them..

Have I been missing out? 

7 thoughts on “On wearing nice socks

  1. This made me laugh.

    I’ve borrowed a pair of clean socks before, and returned them freshly laundered. But that’s as close as I can claim. If any guy asked to wear my socks, I think I’d politely excuse myself and move my feet away.

    1. Exactly! ? And I’m not sure if I would really be polite about it..

      (I have absolutely nothing against borrowing socks and other clothes if necessary, I do a fair bit of borrowing myself… I just can’t think of any circumstance in which I would walk up to a stranger and ask to try any of their clothing on, let alone their socks.. I’m pushed to think of a situation where it would even make sense between friends…)

  2. Ugh! I would certainly need to have seen the state of their feet before I wore THEIR socks! And WHY would anyone want to wear mine? They are not decorated with precious jewels or anything like that which might make someone else desire them. I do admit to trying on someone’s shoes but that was a close relative. I can imagine the conversation,”Love your shoes, do you mind if I try them on?” It would be very interesting to try but I am not that brave-or foolish!

    1. I have no idea! and I now have visions of jewel-adorned socks to go with Paul Simon’s diamond-soled shoes 🙂

      I’ve worn other people’s shoes, and some clothing without qualms and I also buy a lot of second hand stuff..
      For some reason socks, especially fresh-off-the-feet socks, seem to be on the wrong side of the eeewwwww boundary.. although ultimately rather socks than other underwear..

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