notthrowingstones.today

I’m back at my parents’ house for Christmas.

The friend from school I hadn’t seen in something like 16/17 years was home for Christmas too, making this the perfect time to meet up again in person.

The original plan was to go to a pub for a drink, but I’m not a big drinker (or any kind of drinker worth the title) so we needed an alternative plan..

Walking was what we did most when we knew each other before, so I think it fitted well 🙂

***

The weather wasn’t on our side, it is December in England after all, but what’s a bit of rain between friends? We ignored the gloomy overcast sky and set out anyway. It was still dry when we parked the car – the rain waited until we’d started walking. 🙂

Then it got windy.

Berlin is never windy. Not like home is. It’s not something I notice missing until I’m reminded.. This was a horizontally wet reminder..

Whoosh!

The track was boggy and/or flooded almost all the way but it didn’t matter at all because luckily I’d borrowed mum’s unholey wellies so I didn’t have to think about where I walked.

There is something kind of awesome about wearing wellies in puddles.

When we got to the top of the hill we decided it was time to head back to the car.

A couple of hours isn’t anywhere near enough time to talk about all the things that need to be talked about.. But it was a start. A good start 🙂

I feel like I not only reconnected with a friend, I also reconnected with the version of myself who used to wear wellies all the time 🙂

Today started with a Christmas lecture held by one of the professors I work for sometimes.

It ended with me handing my notice in.

These two things are completely unrelated, except for their joint ability to make me smile when I think about it 🙂

About to celebrate with chocolate ice cream.

More another time 🙂

I recently bought a couple of things from ebay. Having the tracking number is part blessing, part curse.

I would like to say I’m a patient person but in reality I’m not.

I refresh the DHL app’s tracking page as if that would make it arrive more quickly. As if it knows, the delivery date changes from Thursday to Wednesday. Amazing.

On Wednesday (today) I hang around at home instead of going to work. From a previous (very annoying) encounter with the parcel delivery system I know the undelivered parcels are unloaded at around 10am. I assume that means delivery has to be attempted before 10. My house isn’t the closest to the parcel depot, so I imagined it should be getting to me at about 9, maybe 9:30.

When I finally leave for work, the parcel is apparently still on a scenic tour of the town.

When I get to work, I’m not sure if I want to check the app.

There are two possible outcomes: either it just missed me (which would be annoying because I could have stayed a few minutes longer) or it still isn’t there (in which case leaving late was entirely pointless).

Neither is a particularly positive reaction, maybe it’s better not to know at all…

***

I picked both parcels up from the depot in the drizzle when I got home.

“I was talking to my brother earlier. He’s like you, he asks all the questions I don’t want to be asked..” – S (but slightly paraphrased by me)

I think this is a good thing. In this particular case, and also in general.

I think we should ask ourselves, and others, the difficult questions. And then be open to the answers.

I also think “why not?” is often a much better question than “why?”.

On a related note, it’s interesting how sometimes people face (or find themselves facing) the same ‘life questions’ although their situations are seemingly very different. At least on the outside.

Sometimes, when it rains, you find rainbows in unexpected places

But sometimes weather forecasts lie and it hardly rains at all, despite dismal threats of torrential downpours..

“heavy rain” – day 1 of 3.

“heavy rain” – day 2 of 3

“heavy rain” – day 3 of 3

Sometimes it wouldn’t matter how much it rained because your hotel is actually a boat

Sometimes ferocious beasts live on the top floor of multi-storey buildings

Sometimes dangerous bridges need crossing (and sometimes they’re not as scary in real life as they are in your head)

Sometimes all you really need is a borrowed bike and a bench by the sea

***

Sometimes you go somewhere thinking it will be good, and it is; you go, you enjoy it and you come home content.

Sometimes you think something will be good and you’re disappointed when it isn’t.

Sometimes, and I think this is maybe the best kind, you don’t really know what you’re expecting so you hope it will be ok (or good), and prepare for rain (literal or figurative) just in case, and then are amazed by how wrong you were, because it turns out so much better than you could have expected.

This was one of those weekends.

🙂

One which is (going to be) memorable for more than just being good, because although not all of it was sunshine, the tears were somehow necessary and healing.

One where knocking over the Jenga blocks means you can start redesigning the tower.

One that wasn’t exactly “perfect”, but feels better than perfect because it was real. All of it.

One I’m glad to have had the pleasure of experiencing.

Thank you, world.

Xx

***

This is probably a good motto:

I consider lying on a huge wooden platform soaking up the sun and watching the world go by a good use of heartbeats

So is stopping to smell the roses during the only rainy patch of the weekend

Dear WWF campaigners,

I’m no time management expert, but I have a suggestion for you..

If you smile as you accost me on my way between the train and the bus and ask me for ONE minute of my time, I might actually choose to honour your request.

Here’s where I think there’s room for improvement. One minute is not a long time, so it’s important to know how you want to use it before it starts.

It’s not so much that I mind talking about where I’m going and what I’m planning to do when I get there and what I do for a living, it’s just the chance is pretty good that the minute will be up before you say a single word about pandas or rainforests or petitions or monthly donations.

Jus’ sayin’..

Also. If you’ve gone to the effect of preparing a presentation, maybe you could set up a big screen and let it play on repeat. People, myself included, would almost definitely rather watch it as they walk through the station than on a miniature tablet under close scrutiny.

You never know. They might even stop to talk to you about it. Possibly for longer than a minute ;p

Regards,

Jesska

It seems Google still doesn’t think I’m trustworthy.. 🙁

I will consult the experts again…

I don’t really understand what goes on behind the screen, so when I got the second message from a reader who couldn’t open my website without immense risk, I asked the experts.

They did something, and now it works again.

I think.

If it doesn’t, please let me know..

I went out to dinner tonight, wearing my new dress*.

It’s made of flowing material that swirls around my knees when I walk.

It’s neither tight nor sack-like and it hangs well,

I felt good, good enough to think I might look good too.

When I got back, I still felt good so I asked H to take some photos. He obliged, but afterwards, when he handed the camera back and I clicked through the pictures, all the magic was broken.

Moral of the story?

I don’t know. Maybe you should just enjoy the fantasy world inside your head without trying to capture it.

***

* Yup. I bought a dress at the weekend! No panic involved.