On therapy

The first session starts in 14 minutes.

I feel totally unprepared, but I hope it won’t matter.

I am also quite sweaty, which is worse than unprepared. The 18 degrees they promised us this morning when I put jeans on, have turned into at least 25, probably closer to 28, and the leisurely walk  I meant to have via the bank to the station, turned into a rush to get there before being late, and included locking my card because I couldn’t remember the pin number.

The reason I was rushing in the first place, is that I couldn’t work out how to get the printer to print my health and illness history onto a single page of A4 (or 2) as opposed to spread over 9.
Theoretically, I could have written it on paper, by hand. Or into word, where I can see the edges of the paper. Instead, I wanted to use excel. Theoretically, even that would have been a good idea, if properly executed. Which it wasn’t.

Instead, it was fussed over, in tremendous detail, until I realised I had to leave a couple of minutes ago, then rushed, without formatting or spellchecking, to get it at least printed, in whatever form possible. 

I am trying, by way of writing this out, to bring myself back out of panic mode, and into, ‘try and get a grip’ mode.

If not quite succeeding counts as preparation for therapy, then I guess I am prepared after all….
Wish me luck, or good questions, or whatever you feel is appropriate…

4 thoughts on “On therapy

  1. I certainly wish you luck Jesska! As for questions my only one is “Are you well?” Which is probably rather silly as you would not be printing out health stats/report and jogging off to therapy if you were really well. Will be glad to hear how you did at therapy and if you felt it was worthwhile for you. All the best

    1. Thank you 🙂

      “Well” is relative… I’m not really ill, I’m just a bit “messed up”.. (which I’m aware is not accurate medical terminology ;)) .. or “acutely confused” or “incapable of decision”…

      I will try and get some thoughts onto screenpaper soon.

  2. I’ve had therapy in the past a few times during bad periods and found it very beneficial, in that I could say anything to this person (who didn’t know me, my friends or family, personally) and in that way I could articulate what some of my problems were. The only way it really works though is if you are brutally truthful, and that can sometimes be a hard thing to do as we all fear judgement. Wishing you al the best, and hoping you find it helps.

  3. Jesska, I’ve been in your shoes a number of times. I went through several therapists before I found the one that I felt a good connection with. If you have to bear your soul to someone, it had better be someone that will actually help you along your journey and not just make noises once in a while. Or someone that finds fault with your decisions and the way you are handling your situations.

    Expect to be non plussed at this time in your life. This is not an easy thing to do and I commend you for stepping up to take care of yourself.


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