On reconnecting

I’m back at my parents’ house for Christmas.

The friend from school I hadn’t seen in something like 16/17 years was home for Christmas too, making this the perfect time to meet up again in person.

The original plan was to go to a pub for a drink, but I’m not a big drinker (or any kind of drinker worth the title) so we needed an alternative plan..

Walking was what we did most when we knew each other before, so I think it fitted well ๐Ÿ™‚

***

The weather wasn’t on our side, it is December in England after all, but what’s a bit of rain between friends? We ignored the gloomy overcast sky and set out anyway. It was still dry when we parked the car – the rain waited until we’d started walking. ๐Ÿ™‚

Then it got windy.

Berlin is never windy. Not like home is. It’s not something I notice missing until I’m reminded.. This was a horizontally wet reminder..

Whoosh!

The track was boggy and/or flooded almost all the way but it didn’t matter at all because luckily I’d borrowed mum’s unholey wellies so I didn’t have to think about where I walked.

There is something kind of awesome about wearing wellies in puddles.

Splosh!

When we got to the top of the hill we decided it was time to head back to the car.

A couple of hours isn’t anywhere near enough time to talk about all the things that need to be talked about.. But it was a start. A good start ๐Ÿ™‚

I feel like I not only reconnected with a friend, I also reconnected with the version of myself who used to wear wellies all the time ๐Ÿ™‚

On the seventeenth..

Today started with a Christmas lecture held by one of the professors I work for sometimes.

It ended with me handing my notice in.

These two things are completely unrelated, except for their joint ability to make me smile when I think about it ๐Ÿ™‚

About to celebrate with chocolate ice cream.

More another time ๐Ÿ™‚

On waiting for parcels

I recently bought a couple of things from ebay. Having the tracking number is part blessing, part curse.

I would like to say I’m a patient person but in reality I’m not.

I refresh the DHL app’s tracking page as if that would make it arrive more quickly. As if it knows, the delivery date changes from Thursday to Wednesday. Amazing.

On Wednesday (today) I hang around at home instead of going to work. From a previous (very annoying) encounter with the parcel delivery system I know the undelivered parcels are unloaded at around 10am. I assume that means delivery has to be attempted before 10. My house isn’t the closest to the parcel depot, so I imagined it should be getting to me at about 9, maybe 9:30.

When I finally leave for work, the parcel is apparently still on a scenic tour of the town.

When I get to work, I’m not sure if I want to check the app.

There are two possible outcomes: either it just missed me (which would be annoying because I could have stayed a few minutes longer) or it still isn’t there (in which case leaving late was entirely pointless).

Neither is a particularly positive reaction, maybe it’s better not to know at all…

***

I picked both parcels up from the depot in the drizzle when I got home.

On asking the other questions

“I was talking to my brother earlier. He’s like you, he asks all the questions I don’t want to be asked..” – S (but slightly paraphrased by me)

I think this is a good thing. In this particular case, and also in general.

I think we should ask ourselves, and others, the difficult questions. And then be open to the answers.

I also think “why not?” is often a much better question than “why?”.

On a related note, it’s interesting how sometimes people face (or find themselves facing) the same ‘life questions’ although their situations are seemingly very different. At least on the outside.

On sunshine and other surprises

Sometimes, when it rains, you find rainbows in unexpected places

But sometimes weather forecasts lie and it hardly rains at all, despite dismal threats of torrential downpours..

“heavy rain” – day 1 of 3.

“heavy rain” – day 2 of 3

“heavy rain” – day 3 of 3

Sometimes it wouldn’t matter how much it rained because your hotel is actually a boat

Sometimes ferocious beasts live on the top floor of multi-storey buildings

Sometimes dangerous bridges need crossing (and sometimes they’re not as scary in real life as they are in your head)

Sometimes all you really need is a borrowed bike and a bench by the sea

***

Sometimes you go somewhere thinking it will be good, and it is; you go, you enjoy it and you come home content.

Sometimes you think something will be good and you’re disappointed when it isn’t.

Sometimes, and I think this is maybe the best kind, you don’t really know what you’re expecting so you hope it will be ok (or good), and prepare for rain (literal or figurative) just in case, and then are amazed by how wrong you were, because it turns out so much better than you could have expected.

This was one of those weekends.

๐Ÿ™‚

One which is (going to be) memorable for more than just being good, because although not all of it was sunshine, the tears were somehow necessary and healing.

One where knocking over the Jenga blocks means you can start redesigning the tower.

One that wasn’t exactly “perfect”, but feels better than perfect because it was real. All of it.

One I’m glad to have had the pleasure of experiencing.

Thank you, world.

Xx

***

This is probably a good motto:

I consider lying on a huge wooden platform soaking up the sun and watching the world go by a good use of heartbeats

So is stopping to smell the roses during the only rainy patch of the weekend

On time management

Dear WWF campaigners,

I’m no time management expert, but I have a suggestion for you..

If you smile as you accost me on my way between the train and the bus and ask me for ONE minute of my time, I might actually choose to honour your request.

Here’s where I think there’s room for improvement. One minute is not a long time, so it’s important to know how you want to use it before it starts.

It’s not so much that I mind talking about where I’m going and what I’m planning to do when I get there and what I do for a living, it’s just the chance is pretty good that the minute will be up before you say a single word about pandas or rainforests or petitions or monthly donations.

Jus’ sayin’..

Also. If you’ve gone to the effect of preparing a presentation, maybe you could set up a big screen and let it play on repeat. People, myself included, would almost definitely rather watch it as they walk through the station than on a miniature tablet under close scrutiny.

You never know. They might even stop to talk to you about it. Possibly for longer than a minute ;p

Regards,

Jesska

On certifiable safety

I don’t really understand what goes on behind the screen, so when I got the second message from a reader who couldn’t open my website without immense risk, I asked the experts.

They did something, and now it works again.

I think.

If it doesn’t, please let me know..

On magic-crushing photos

I went out to dinner tonight, wearing my new dress*.

It’s made of flowing material that swirls around my knees when I walk.

It’s neither tight nor sack-like and it hangs well,

I felt good, good enough to think I might look good too.

When I got back, I still felt good so I asked H to take some photos. He obliged, but afterwards, when he handed the camera back and I clicked through the pictures, all the magic was broken.

Moral of the story?

I don’t know. Maybe you should just enjoy the fantasy world inside your head without trying to capture it.

***

* Yup. I bought a dress at the weekend! No panic involved.

On buying and selling dresses

I bought a dress at the weekend!

People who know me or have been reading for a while know that doesn’t happen very regularly, and that it is usually a fraught experience when it happens.

Not so this time.

I bought it from my favourite sales lady at the market in the next town. She’s enthusiastic about everything she sells and she exudes happy, bouncy thoughts while she looks after her customers. She remembers things people tell her and asks about them the next time she sees them which could be months later. She has that rare ability to talk to several people at once,without ever being rude. She never stops moving, bustling about, rehanging clothes on their hangers, giving advice and opinions, handing over different sizes and colours and waving at acquaintances across the marketplace. She’s tremendously good at her job, and she would rather let you go home empty handed than sell something that doesn’t work for you. I think she’s brilliant.

I tried on a couple of dresses and she shook her head. “Nope. That’s not your colour. That one’s not at all flattering. That one, hmm, I don’t know, no, it’s not right. Try this one. No.. What about this one? Yes! That one’s good! You can buy that one!” ๐Ÿ™‚

I came away with a dress, a skirt and a pocket on a kind of belt (for wearing over pocketless skirts or trousers).

Yay!

On movement (DTW)

“No movement is thought of as sexual or embarrassing when you’re little.. It’s just movement. Just an experiment. Little kids are still discovering themselves. Dancing is also self discovery. No brain required, just you and your body and the music……and the other people”

On education and psychological words

Today’s dance teacher wisdom:

“Without primary schools, there would be no universities. Unis don’t teach you anything really new, they just build on what you already know. Primary school is where you really learn new things.”

And also:

“When you say, ‘I can’t do that’ you take a step back. When you ask, ‘how can I do this?’ you take a step forward. Not just physically, but psychologically.”

And also:

“No one looks at the foundations when they go to see Gaudi’s house. The foundations are absolutely necessary, but no one looks at them. They all look at the building.”

On automattic posting

This morning I found a notification of a new WordPress comment on my phone.

That’s generally a very cool thing. I love it when people write comments in response to things I’ve written.

This comment, however, was about a post I wrote in December, and which I, for some currently unknown reason, decided not to post.

When I woke up for real and looked properly, I found that 3 draft posts had been published, all at the same time (6am – when I was sleeping, but possibly when my phone finished charging… Or possibly when my landlady’s WiFi connection turns on?)

I might have been hacked I suppose, but I think posting random draft posts is a very strange thing to do with a newly hacked site.

I also had a whole pile of messages about pages that hadn’t been/couldn’t be updated, also from around the same time.

Very odd.

Then I checked the playstore for updates and found this:

WordPress is one of the apps I set to update automatically. It seems tonight was update night ;).

Is it possible that somewhere along the way, “upload it to the server” became “change draft to publish”??

Has anyone else had any random draft posts go online recently?

If that’s going to be normal, I don’t think it’s an improvement…