Dear amazing women of the world,
I apologise for letting the side down. Again.
I apologise for not being able to compare to your incredible standards of awesomeness.
I apologise for my lack of ability (and interest) to keep house the way houses are supposed to be kept. For my chaos. For the unpacked boxes. For my shortage of prettifying touches. For the wrinkles in the spread when I’ve made the bed in a hurry. For leaving the washing up out to dry itself. For not replacing the towels when I’ve put the old ones in the wash. For not completely filling the washing machine when doing a hot wash. For forgetting to take it out of the machine afterwards or leaving on the stand way longer than necessary. For not folding it neatly enough and for not putting it away properly.
For not timing my cooking to a regular mealtime. For forgetting to take the milk out of the freezer before the other one’s empty. For letting the apples rot in their box.
For arriving late and without my keys or paperwork or paper hankies. For missing my train, bus, plane, or for making people wait for me.
For my lack of elegance and sexy underwear and make up. For the fat I’ve accumulated over the last year. For the frumpy clothing I wear until I’m thin enough to warrant going shopping.
I could go on.
I won’t because you won’t get it, you perfect people, and the other ones, the ones that aren’t perfect (I’m assuming I’m not the only one, despite being told otherwise), already know what I’m thinking and feeling, because they, presumably, think and feel it too.
I’m pretty sure no one has to be perfect before they can start enjoying life, but you, you perfect specimens, you make it hard for the rest of us. You stand up there on your pedestal with people looking up to you and down to us and making comparisons. If I wasn’t spending all my time bettering myself, I might look for something to criticise. I don’t actually have anything against you personally, just against people using you as the standard, unattainable as it may be.
You know what though? If the ground was made of diamonds instead of mud, the diamonds wouldn’t be special and nothing would grow..