On being an awful partner

I currently have a friend over for a long weekend and I am becoming more and more aware that I am not cut out for a long-term female partnership.. How do I know? I have no patience for conversations about frilly knickers, nail varnish, the best way to burn candles or which bread has the […]

On sleeping in the doghouse

The radio comes on loudly, waking us up the way it does every morning. DB sits up and looks across at the dog (C) we’re looking after, who’s sleeping on the floor next to his side of the bed. DB: (excited) Good morning C! It’s time to get up! Yup yup yup! It really is! […]

On working with men (and trying to understand them)

I need some help with a problem that’s going round and round in my head. I’d be grateful for insights…. *** Over the last few days I spent several hours working with a retired electrician who’s a friend of DB’s. We planned, installed and wired up the new lighting in DB’s aquarium. We went shopping for […]

On illogical guilt

Can someone please explain why my brain feels the need to produce guilty-conscience-feelings for vacuuming so noisily during 5 minutes of DB’s TV programme (which he was dozing through anyway), whereas his is perfectly content to relax so lazily through my cleaning??? It’s not as if I mind him lying on the sofa, watching TV […]

On listening to multiple voices

DB’s parents both tend to talk (to me, and anyone else who’ll listen) at the same time. As a result, I often don’t understand either of them (or at least can’t follow either topic properly). Three simultaneous conversations between the four of us are no rarity. I suppose I should offer a fourth, but I […]

On not listening

A: “I like bananas, they have such nice yellow skin”. B: “But tomatoes are red! And have seeds”. A: “yes, I do love yellow bananas”. B: “I hate it when I get the seeds stuck in my teeth!” *** About 3 minutes ago, I was sitting in a bar, eavesdropping two people deeply involved in […]

On hurt feelings – part 2

I recently posted this: “There’s a fine line between holding your tongue so as not to hurt other peoples’ feelings, and letting people hurt yours.. I’m too sleepy to be articulate right now, but I’m pretty sure I need to work on finding that line and learning to walk along it.” I thought I’d written, […]

On friendship and ignoration

Friendship is one of those things that should be easier than it is. Sometimes I think I’ve figured it out, and then BAM! I’ve buggered it up. Or they have. Whichever. It still sucks. And just as we get over whatever problem there was, something else happens. Round and round and round (though not so […]

On being stood up by a doctor

(or on doctors and DBs – part 1) No. Chew chew chew.  You chew definitely don’t chew chew have an appointment. Chew chew chew chew chew. We stared at the chewing-gum-man in disbelief. Turning slightly, we looked at each other, looked back at the man and shrugged before making our way to the car and […]

On patience and pizza dough

I’m kneading pizza dough when DB walks into the kitchen… DB: Did you put herbs in that? Me: Yes DB: Then it’s not dirt after all… Me: ??!! – 2 minutes later – DB: Shall I turn the oven on? Me: Not yet, I haven’t finished kneading, and then it’s got to rise and I […]

On cold coffee

I wanted to talk to you.. I did try. Multiple times. I wrote, I texted, I phoned. But you didn’t answer. I’m guessing you won’t read this either, but maybe writing it will get it out of my system. I missed you, you know. I spent a long time missing you. But you know what […]

On what we say v. what they hear.

I’m too sleepy to write as much as I’d like to on this, but it’s been a theme running through several conversations this week. If what we say isn’t always what they hear, then maybe what we hear isn’t what they said…….. (/what they meant)